What does success really mean to you? I think it is time to stop, think and really redefine what success means to you. I mean it! Lately I have found myself questioning some of my goals and dreams. Why do I want to accomplish this? Is this truly aligned with myself? In a world where we’re constantly comparing ourselves to highlight reels on social media, are we also creating goals based on what everyone else seems to be doing that makes them successful?
For as long as I can remember, I have defined success based on the world around me. As a child, I defined success as having the most friends and being the most well-liked. As a teenager, success meant having the latest designer handbag. For me, success was always determined by doing what everyone else was doing. I always thought that if my peers had those expensive designer handbags and looked happy, then that should make me happy as well right? Well, no. It never did, and honestly I always felt very unauthentic. Past Emmy developed a belief that what makes others happy and what success looks like on them, would look and do the same for me. But it’s quite the opposite.
Success Should Be Unique to You
Joy is unique to each individual human. What makes you happy doesn’t necesarily make others happy. I have a friend who LOVES camping and being outdoors and it truly brings her peace and joy. I couldn’t be more of an opposite. Sleeping outdoors in a tent is my worst nightmare. Same goes for success. It is unique and it’s definition based solely on who you are and what you love to do. Then why is it that we often find ourselves pursuing someone else’s idea of success?
How I’m Redefining Success
As an adult, I have previously defined my success as having a six figure business and a big social media following. The likes of Jenna Kutcher (who is awesome btw), and other designers and entrepreneurs on social media have heavily influenced my idea of success. It’s easy to see their lives and feel a bit of a pull towards it. But can I be real right now and let you in on a little secret? I have come to realize that becoming a big influencer holds little interest to me. That I actually like being out of the spotlight and keeping my life private. That I’d rather share my personal growth and help you figure out a way to find joy within your own business along the way. It’s easy to fall into the comparison trap when it comes to success so repeat after me: Good for her, not for me.
Success is More than Metrics
I’m slowly realizing that time is my real currency. And 6 figures doesn’t mean anything if I have to sacrifice the most important things in my life: my family, my friends and my own personal growth in this moment. And let me tell you something, everyone’s happy ending is different. You do not have to hustle and sacrifice everything to get those six figures and a multi-million dollar business to be successful. You also don’t have to change the world, influence thousands of women or impact millions. Unless that’s your dream. So just ask yourself… Who do you want to be right now? Because that’s another thing, success isn’t in the future. It’s in your current moment.
Redefine Success in 3 Steps
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” — Maya Angelou
When you remove the world around you, strip yourself of all expectations, timelines and really dig deep… you can listen to your true self and choose what reality you want to create. So breathe deep and reflect on the following questions so you can redefine what success means to you:
First, ask yourself — What version of success you are currently pursuing? Picture where you want to be in 3 years. What does your life look like? What does success look like? What does “winning” look like to you?
Now think about what you’re currently doing. Those goals, your day to day, your job, your personal life. If any of that isn’t lighting you up, then you really aren’t the person for that job — and that’s ok! Maybe you just want to be a stay at home mom and be present with your kids. Maybe you just love to decorate your home, go do yoga and take on 1-2 clients every month. You don’t need a booked calendar to be happy. It’s time to question what’s driving you and really define what success means to you.
Define your WHY. When you find the WHY of what you’re doing then you understand the driving force for everything you do. Once you know that driving force, success becomes a day-to-day event, not a long term one. Because at the end of the day, being happy in your current moment IS success and your “why” is tied to that. Your why can be as simple as becoming your truest self, or impacting the world — it’s up to you to define it.
A successful life is more than a high-paying job, admiration from your peers or any other external metric. Real success is living a genuinely happy life for yourself. One that you are proud of even in the messiest of days. Reframe your mindset around success and I promise that you will start living a more balanced joyful life for yourself.
How do you define success?