When you are constantly comparing yourself to strangers on the internet, getting lost in self doubt and changing things about yourself to ‘fit in’, how do you find your true authentic Self? How do you live a life of joy just being who you are? Have you ever thought about this? I know I have! There was a time in my life where I would adopt other peoples personalities and likes. I was proud of being a chameleon, blending in from group to group in high school, smug about being able to fit in with any crowd and collecting a roster of friendships that were not valuable, but the more the merrier. You see I had no idea who I was. I wasn’t being true to myself because I got caught up in fitting in and being well liked. I sacrificed my own self worth because I thought my happiness depended on others perception of me when in fact its quite the opposite. Being your true authentic Self is the key to living a full life of joy.
So here’s the thing, in order to realize and understand who your authentic Self is, you have to start by thinking about your life. In this crazy Instagram world, we all get caught up in the newest trends, wearing the right clothes, speaking a certain way, having the latest phone upgrades, driving the right car, taking the perfect selfie and portraying a life that we think others will double tap on.
Ask yourself if striving to adopt certain trends makes you happy. Are those things the true you?
Find Your True Authentic Self
When you find your true authentic Self and leave behind the fear of fitting in or being judged, you set yourself free. When you awaken your true Self you reconnect with the deepest part of your being that holds your magic. It’s truly amazing how just being you unlocks this power within that not only pushes you to pursue your dreams but helps you truly live your life with joy. To find your authentic Self you need to start by accepting who you are inside and out, flaws and all. Without judgement, love yourself, even the parts you don’t like, and know that we’re all a work in progress and no one is perfect. The first step to find your authentic self is to accept all of you.
Face Your Evil Twin
Almost all of us create a false sense of self, an image of who we think we are or who we need to be. This is very common on social media, where you pretend to have the perfect life, curate insta-worthy images and captions that portray you in a way you think will get you more likes (I was guilty of this too). In real life you may adopt certain phrases or manners that aren’t the real you and even feel icky when you act them out, but it’s almost like a coping mechanism for you to feel accepted. This is what I like to call: My Evil Twin.
We all have one, when we act out of character to fit in, not be judged, go with the flow and basically keep us in our comfort zone. This Evil Twin comes out when we feel vulnerable and want to protect ourselves, it strives to help us fit in and keep us out of harms way (some call it the Ego). In order to find your true authentic self you need to face your Evil Twin. Start recognizing your twin when it comes out, be grateful it was trying to protect you and say goodbye. Let your true Self shine.
Stop Seeking Validation
One of the most common ways we hide our true Self is by seeking validation. There is this need to prove yourself to others, to feel worthy and even love outside of yourself. It’s very common, I still do it from time to time, and that’s ok! Sometimes I still look for permission outside of myself. I look for someone, anyone, to tell me I’m on the right path, that my design is good, and even that I said the right thing.
Let go of the need to prove yourself to others. You do not need validation from anyone but yourself. No one and nothing can offer you the permission you long for other than yourself, because true validation comes from your inner Self.
Crush Your Limiting Beliefs
Don Miguel Ruiz (a very cool Mexican author) said: ‘Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive and express what we really are.’ Part of finding and living your true Self is to let go of what’s holding you back from being your true Self. Throughout your life you have been conditioned through experiences and society to act a certain way, some of these are subconscious reactions that you do automatically. These are called limiting beliefs.
When I was in middle school, my best friends abandoned me in order to join the popular group. This left me with a trauma and conditioned me to act and be a certain way. When I got to high school, I wasn’t being my true Self, I became a people pleaser and a chameleon so that no friend would ever abandon me again. I was afraid to be myself, to show my goofy side and to truly embrace how unique I was, I did this for years until I was able to heal my story and grow past it. Whatever is holding you back, know that there is a way out if you work on it.
Align With Your Dreams
An easy way to meet your true Self is to think about your dreams. What do you want to do with your life? What do you daydream at work? There is always this passion, or a pull, deep inside you that is trying to get your attention. This is your authentic Self whispering your deepest desires and what you want most out of life. When you align with your dreams and start following them, you are your truest Self.
Be unapologetically you, because everyone else is taken and only you carry this unique magic that the world needs. Are you ready to find your true authentic Self? Share your story with me in the comments 🙂